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Ducklings!


The ducklings have hatched! The incubator is full of the kind of stinky neo-natal avian slime that nightmares are made - but the results are worth it! We finally have our first batch of ridiculously-teeth-grittingly-cute baby ducklings.


Stage One involved getting them hatched out (alive).


Stage Two involves 'imprinting'. This is a fancy-schmancy word for playing with ducklings and hand feeding them so that they decide you are their mother (more or less).


Stage Three is about giving Pavlov and BF Skinner their due.


We will be ringing bells as we lead them to their feeders so that they learn to associate the sound of ringing bells with breakfast time and become eager to (we hope) follow us.


We will be suspending old, scratched up CDs above their feeders. This is so that they learn to associate the sight of a spinning, glinting CD with breakfast and head straight to where we want them to go.


I even found an old Spice Girl CD at the bottom of a a drawer. If I suspend this CD above the feeder, then the Spice Girls will finally be to make a contribution to a field of human endeavour. They were the musical equivalent of a squad of suicide bombers; let's pray that they have more to offer in the world of agriculture.


I've told people I'm giving away free ducklings.


Here is the fine print:


I'M ONLY GIVING AWAY FREE DUCKLINGS TO GARDENERS WHO ARE ABLE TO BUILD THE CRITICAL INFRASTRUCTURE REQUIRED TO KEEP THEM ALIVE AND USEFUL.


This means: duck house and run (hard), fencing (not too hard), waterer (easy) and feeder (easy). The good news is I can provide design support.


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